Jun 2

In a guild application I saw recently, the following question was written: “From an ethical and environmental point of view,
what is your position on murlocs?” Now, I’ve posted briefly on murlocs before, but I didn’t exactly go into a lot of detail. So, to answer the question in the guild application and to provide you all with my rather profound (pfft) opinions, may I present Murlocs: The Dissertation.

An Introduction to Murlocs

According to the venerable WoWWiki, a murloc is “a bipedal, amphibious, ichthyoid (fish-like) race residing along coastlines, lakeshores and riverbeds. Murlocs possess bulbous bodies, large mouths lined with row upon row of sharp fangs, and slime-coated skin. Individuals range in coloration from turquoise to darkish grey, and in height from 3-1/2 feet to 6 feet.”

Murlocs are almost always aggressive, attacking anyone who comes within a radius of their settlements. An initial, cursory glimpse at a murloc would lead one to believe that they are relatively unintelligent creatures; however, some of their kind is practiced at natural magics, and they are successful very basic construction and artistic decorations.

Murlocs Effect on History

The murlocs inadvertently spurred the relationship between Thrall and his warriors and the Darkspear tribe, which would be the foundation of the Horde^[ref]. Some surmise that they have also formed an alliance with the naga.

Murlocs Effect on Present Day Life/Questing

Well, they are very annoying when you’re trying to level your lockpicking and steal items from their chests. Also, they don’t all have heads. They do that really, really annoying yell (which was the incoming text message sound on my phone for months). Low level (and even higher level) questers have nothing but problems with them, and they cannot be skinned for leather. All in all, they are rather useless creatures.

They also seem to be taking over. Already, there are few coastal areas where murlocs have not settled down into what appears to be a rather permanent dwelling.

Conclusions

The Bad

• They attack on sight, forcing one to fight back or run
• Do not all have heads (needed for quests, very annoying)
• Helped form the horde
• Cannot be skinned
• Aggro from forever away
• Run and aggro even more, several of which are usually casters
• For more see Part Time Druid’s list

The Good

• That noise is funny sometimes

Okay, so that’s not a great dissertation. But I think it’s fairly obvious that, excepting the awesome song, quoted in part below, murlocs have done very little to benefit our society.

“I am more than a fish
I am more than a man
Death will rise from the tide
I am Murloc!

“I am king of the sea
But I’m not Aquaman
Death will rise
Hear our cry
RwlRwlRwlRwl RwlRwlRwlRwl
I am Murloc!”

Related posts:

1. Why Murlocs Suck
2. So Long, and Thanks for All the Fish
3. Best Debuff Ever
4. The Death of the Epic Mount Quests
5. PUGs